Thursday, August 24, 2006

Hezbollah Reads My Blog

No sooner do I make fun of the Germans for only being willing to patrol the coast of Lebanon after insisting the UN be allowed to put troops between Israelis and Hezbollah, then pictures appear of Hezbollah sinking boats.

I can imagine the conversation:

German Ambassador: "Durka, durka. Mid-East Watch is making fun of Germany for only being willing to patrol the coast of Lebanon. They say that, as an Iranian-terrorist organization, you have no Navy. You need to blow something up."

Hezbollah: "Durka, durka. We actually don't have a Navy and we're still trying to figure out how to make good on our promise to spend billions to re-build the homes that were destroyed by the Israelis. You know, since we don't have any money of our own. Can you send some?"

German ambassador: "Of course not. That almost blew up on us in Iraq. And don't pull the 'we have a nuke' strategy either. With Clinton, that would have sent them running for the hills but that crazy Bush guy used it as a reason to attack. You can try it again in 2008. Americans are pissed because Democrats told them it was all about cheap oil and then oil got more expensive so they will take it out on the party that said it wasn't about cheap oil."

Hezbollah: "You lost me."

German ambassador: "It doesn't matter. If you can't blow up a German boat to make it look like we are in harm's way too - and you can't, because we can't be in harm's way - then what can you do?"

Hezbollah: "Ummmm, well, I have these pictures of someone scuttling an Australian boat. Australia sounds kind of like Austria, which is German, right? We could say it was an Israeli boat. Reuters will publish anything."

German Ambassador: "Perfect! Then it looks like we are taking a hard line on you and defending Israelis. Durka durka ... errrr .... wiedersehn."

And there we have it, one Israeli warship destroyed ... maybe even twice, since the first time it in was the Australian navy and they sank it themselves. I can't speak for any of you but I have newfound respect for the Germans' willingness to bring peace to the mid-east. Thanks to Germany for taking one for the team!!

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